tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-90565796094107622832024-03-13T13:18:31.107-07:00brattling bricbracksJeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14716893724860541483noreply@blogger.comBlogger75125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056579609410762283.post-17272046969480789162010-08-15T05:58:00.000-07:002010-08-15T06:04:49.679-07:00in the hazy summer night, looking up from below, i smeared my arms with my own blood, taking it back one at a time from the mosquitoes leaving me lovingly with battle scars, they really love me and i could tell. today i mostly feel fine in that respect but not in many others. fear is my animal feeling, i pointed out a squirrel with a pathetic tail to the baby, all of my love, and i remembered with a sad and powerless note that it's like their eyes are too close together, not their fault but i think that he might as well make a change start with himself.<br /><br />and truthfully i am pretty itchy this morning, wandering in my neighborhood alone, inside i should most likely get busy. lions feel jealous, babies feel scared, do you. it cuts me down to closer to the right size, and i am grateful?Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14716893724860541483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056579609410762283.post-44161834093129291322010-07-26T21:40:00.000-07:002010-08-14T06:01:13.314-07:00walking in so many people's eyes, buzzed and jealous, i know it felt perfect, you felt exactly the same?<br /><br />then tonight i found the fly swatter and almost killed what ended out to be a version of a dragonfly with less luminosity. to be more frank, transparent wings with black spots, moldy in a withering day but with the same body structure. when it landed i didn't tell it, you're dead, you're dead, but that it would be over soon, okay, a drowning death made a quick end of it. in the end it was fairly efficient all told and seemed ironic considering i'd just said a prayer and killed one of god's creatures.<br /><br />and i really had, though not in so many words, meaning, you couldn't necessarily have recognized it as such. so i've professed that i'm doing the best that i can, which is inarguably true, in part. that the proverbial bar has been raised, though you may have heard me aver that i do not make promises.Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14716893724860541483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056579609410762283.post-65736494292566832632010-05-11T16:41:00.000-07:002010-05-11T16:51:39.606-07:00i am giving admission that several circumstances that should not be unusual but yet are have collided to make me want to express myself here, like a full moon song that maybe almost unheard, mostly it's bein heard by me, not at all ironically. i am comforted, listening for an unknown stranger and knowing i could find her with my eyes clothesed. like in some way that ten years ago and tonight balances a soothing circle, i can sit purring, emboldened.<br /><br />and then, even years ago tonight also an eventual happening, somehow fateful and clumsy, you looking like someone else and i was wearing pink eye liner, a pretend version of myself, doing many of the same routines week by week and feeling as though i had nearly perfected them. i stray from a script and feel wary of reciting excited excuses twice. if by tonight this one saturn has returned, it has changed me in the rotation, i can tell youJeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14716893724860541483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056579609410762283.post-69748139657189418912010-01-26T16:23:00.001-08:002010-01-26T16:32:52.270-08:00a handful of new rounded black pills supposed to help me wander free and easily, rounding a small sized pit in me stomachs. doing their work, i am chosen to assume. the things that i don't have time for may directly proport to the sizes of the rooms in whence they takes place. a kitchen in a closet, and a few beets a week make it out of there at the rate that they currently go, if that. a bathtub, echoing vows of soul-mateship, a pink wall and i listen with my ear right up to it. sad to report that my beloved stimulant beverage can generally be taken in teaspoons at a time these days and i lie to pretend that i've only started slowly and swear that i'll be taking more, and accordingly thinking of more and more witty banter, if you feel like you'd like to wait for that.Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14716893724860541483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056579609410762283.post-82156290494317236262009-12-28T05:16:00.000-08:002009-12-28T05:20:16.167-08:00years ago in the clean, sticky summer, she found a little flea, (a cat was likely sneezing moments before) moving tinily inbetween her fingers, could have squeezed a little more firmly but filled a glass with partly water, dropped it in and watched a creature stop swimming, or, thinking it could walk on the water, fly through.Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14716893724860541483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056579609410762283.post-47957941876998110372009-11-05T09:30:00.000-08:002009-11-05T09:38:07.899-08:00i am caffeinated again, finally after all these years; a drug that makes all other loves possibly, utmost. resting heavily on your shoulder i missed your eyes but remember them.<br /><br />wondering of late of commas of error of poetic license, letters reversed so artic you lately. naked trees, a tiny obsession with that, the biggest leaves so that i can hardly see you hiding behind one of the smaller ones. we are sitting on a great rock in the autumn sunshine and singing an alphabet song (but not that one) and only hours before i watched a full moon to accident distraction, even bigger than a clock ticking at half mast. what i meant to emphasize was the size of the moon, shrinking by three times by the time you had woken. we are all awake now, the moon gone by noon, and hourly i find tiny remnants of prehistoric revelry: a baby dinosaur's orb!Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14716893724860541483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056579609410762283.post-18932559727699058102009-09-25T21:12:00.001-07:002009-09-25T21:20:05.682-07:00a sad nightmare, getting weepy now. aprevious holiday, artfully seeping sabotage. winds roar hidden in an sheltered spot, a grass sleeping horizontally, living in the seventh day of fall, halloween looming phosphorescent.Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14716893724860541483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056579609410762283.post-44953858472907589862009-09-14T11:12:00.000-07:002009-09-14T11:17:13.687-07:00misery is a songas a little one, sleepily singing in shady sun, a day that could be just perfect, and is it? difficult in telling at present. a drenaline, a screaming neighbor, spooky and, anothe rone.<br /><br />i asked you what you were thinking about, sitting on a sidewalk, chalky hands, said, just thinking about her, what she's doing. i'd forgotten how simply a tiny mind can work, en joy at knowing i can usually know, now, exactly what's at the edge of it.Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14716893724860541483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056579609410762283.post-14174165577979760062009-08-21T19:17:00.001-07:002009-08-21T19:17:26.019-07:00not from todaysome eyes phenomenally sleepy, waking up with a crying eyes, looking alluringly depressing today. darker and cooler inside so much that i wouldn't dare hear an interruption, a grudge gets big enough to keep around for a while, my charming history revived.<br /><br />from books i can learn the spleen to a whorling circle shot out of the top of my heads. each one goes into a nother infinitie, infinite numbers of those shotted trajectories sideby side. and a waste of some time i dreamed would be jittery in the good way. this morning i shook hungrily, romantically nostalgic for a day when i watched the leaves falling for the most dense hour, yellow. the shortest season, kissing on a sidewalk, sleepy and crying.Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14716893724860541483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056579609410762283.post-27986528489969548922009-06-01T19:49:00.000-07:002009-06-01T19:51:48.213-07:00my neck n yours, fingers dirtier than feets, sinks, kitten ignores me, in short.Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14716893724860541483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056579609410762283.post-84380564133515057812009-05-27T12:11:00.000-07:002009-05-27T12:14:03.847-07:00sleepy and nearer to the floor, it's dusty, twitching eyes and i'll rub them! baseboards, basketball, books, a bike's tires are flat. b is for babies, beets and biscuits in the floor of the cobwebbed closet.<br /><br />elevated living, kitties missing something, dust, walls, sun, that feeling back thenJeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14716893724860541483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056579609410762283.post-31683213309933415312009-05-19T08:27:00.000-07:002009-05-19T08:29:55.925-07:00it feels like fall today because my sweater's sleeves show out the end of my jacket's, a warm cats in the sun and my cold hands. bigger than that, tragedy's at bay, new beginning's a stretch but can be imagined, that spirituall way.Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14716893724860541483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056579609410762283.post-20853629755411637932009-04-20T18:49:00.000-07:002009-04-20T18:50:25.839-07:00also, a list of names, waking to relief that i knowed the good ones. embarrassed i recounted, deaf ears, meaning little to nothing.Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14716893724860541483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056579609410762283.post-62061765161117479762009-04-20T18:43:00.000-07:002009-04-20T18:46:18.866-07:00dracula and i are weerily useless, sleepy hearing affirmations and i thought with love, noticing unexpectedly, about the babies taking first steps. slightly gaunt in summer shorts i rubbed my eyes and said some things, forgetting what.Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14716893724860541483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056579609410762283.post-5324659792476181682009-03-14T22:54:00.000-07:002009-03-14T22:55:20.159-07:00the projections of a plan, starting: diagrams of diversions, consistently humiliating and utterly silently private, keeping to myself the ways i can lie out a chart of one through 26.Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14716893724860541483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056579609410762283.post-30674393242410103292009-03-14T22:50:00.000-07:002009-03-14T22:53:24.064-07:00getting feckless with my words, now, it's ten until two. divided into three, segment i agree on your beauty, drugged into brevity and walked away. a quick look in seven or eight wrong directions, the wrong smile, having been misplaced in nearsightedness. dark and beachy, a sleepy confession toasted, one and two sets of twins, i manifested a double, know it's really you, and both of yous knows it too.Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14716893724860541483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056579609410762283.post-43721605696703901382009-02-28T20:13:00.000-08:002009-02-28T20:17:13.348-08:00today i remember many stories, wnt to hear? wandering how my mind's just gone blank; but imagines a project with an optimistic start, catching it at just the right time's a most importants.Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14716893724860541483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056579609410762283.post-8144094710118915202009-02-28T20:10:00.000-08:002009-02-28T20:11:45.182-08:00February<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-vhV0U9Dkg5Xwt6sN-OaQx90WWwnTGSn8PjylW31jIzTfQzv2HD0UtdvPPi5CSKcuKGVm3y4gwo2tb5W3eqLHnKu6rrwG3StmXW_pr8t2gqn649fK4CKCAPp9oGBy3a3Bmd4_fQtj2F4/s1600-h/DSCN0933.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-vhV0U9Dkg5Xwt6sN-OaQx90WWwnTGSn8PjylW31jIzTfQzv2HD0UtdvPPi5CSKcuKGVm3y4gwo2tb5W3eqLHnKu6rrwG3StmXW_pr8t2gqn649fK4CKCAPp9oGBy3a3Bmd4_fQtj2F4/s320/DSCN0933.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5308067037422402594" border="0" /></a>Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14716893724860541483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056579609410762283.post-37924430768679856662009-02-15T12:29:00.001-08:002009-02-15T12:35:35.986-08:00i've got it, finally, mostly sure: subtle and pitiless, me, dried eyes almost like they felt that way all along. less and less of myself feeling, oh, again, and you! i see you, those birds have confused the natural progress of things, little chickens hatching in a shiver, february now, two days of holidays and i figured that magic would have it that today something clicked in, romantic and predetermined. i heard the error in the day, saw you, back to that: i know i'm the only one who has seen that your eyes and your lips match exactly, oh and your skin, and the color of your hair too, all of them sitting there in plaid. pretty, in th eopen window of a valentine hangover, the beautiful one though, woke up with fingers sleeping in warm absences, too perfect not to ruin.Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14716893724860541483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056579609410762283.post-35759697254105360932009-02-11T14:35:00.000-08:002009-02-11T15:49:07.915-08:00waking up, sleepy sounds dull, drone, touch, wrongly kissed. mood dumbly undisguised, and charmed in plato-nic flattery. beautiful again, i made something you didn't see.Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14716893724860541483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056579609410762283.post-8917880472902540522009-02-04T16:18:00.001-08:002009-02-04T16:29:09.963-08:00everything gonna changei was just sitting here and thinking about a memory, vague and broad, of being sixteen. driving and feeling excited about each thing, little, i was myself. and then if someone wanted to hear what i knew, like we had never shared such simple things before, ideas that seemed big. sitting on the hoods of our cars, feeling so good at understanding our ideas.<br /><br />so then, this thought, more specifically wondering how much harder it is to listen when we're not so enchanted anymore by our biggest realizations. i keep having them, finding them more difficult and less interesting to share. so then, this: what if i jst kept them to myself, like would they still be grand, true, and important? keeping me mouthes shut, now.Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14716893724860541483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056579609410762283.post-45522969768352503392009-01-28T06:10:00.001-08:002009-01-28T06:12:48.829-08:00one month later, i am caffeinated, the day like yesterday, more or less. in that good way, the pollyanna police sort of outlook. it's just about all i can do, no, i can pretty much do each of the things i've planned for myself, each day. roundabout, i have said little to nothing.<br /><br />but here: i know some secrets, about me and you, too, whoever yous are.Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14716893724860541483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056579609410762283.post-11843275855651485452008-11-30T19:22:00.000-08:002008-11-30T19:28:03.855-08:00i love myslefdoes just knowing how much extremer a life can be than mine make mines feel alright? i know what he meant, in that movie, talking about how life is a little more boring now, and did you breathe out at that too? so i can wait with shaky legs, coasting down a longer hill, windy cool and try to convince you that i'm a little wasted now on afew sips.<br /><br />i resolve to let each one reminisce about a pathetic past time. i overhear, drunken recollections, so much more thrilled that way. me, sleepy, content enough for the boring ones. sweet little creatures, monkey boys, chickens.Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14716893724860541483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056579609410762283.post-43538661062604912742008-11-29T18:13:00.000-08:002008-11-29T18:21:31.474-08:00just a minute nowlooking back, i've noticed my dream has come true. not that kind of sprkly dream, no. but really, i thought of a scene, out ofknowwhere, and then months later look back on a month ago and it's the same one, but in my real memory. that other part.<br /><br />my hand is quite leathery tonight, and aptly so, after trying to drag a social soul out of a treehouse with a television. i liked it up there, watching the leaves float yellow and brown, brushing against the romanticishesque ones of last year. quiet nights a year from then, kitten the bigger spoon. you were half dressed, and i was, and you too sleepy to remember hours in the lamp light. i woke up just in time, confessing uncontrollably.Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14716893724860541483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056579609410762283.post-18772523050939106552008-11-09T18:11:00.001-08:002008-11-09T18:13:34.193-08:00a sad story<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEaVomqaiSlSdSJatisXB-ZXZW5PkvDAZes0zZoxeIffBMjFbK7Q3cL8tAInomZA_jx0GZSzi9et5_omj8Py49BTm0tM1GsvTsZNk52rg5V0dOkR5ICqRhnup2J_uEouNgtHdTodwCezk/s1600-h/IMG_1211.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 319px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEaVomqaiSlSdSJatisXB-ZXZW5PkvDAZes0zZoxeIffBMjFbK7Q3cL8tAInomZA_jx0GZSzi9et5_omj8Py49BTm0tM1GsvTsZNk52rg5V0dOkR5ICqRhnup2J_uEouNgtHdTodwCezk/s320/IMG_1211.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5266846050092527394" border="0" /></a>Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14716893724860541483noreply@blogger.com