in a few minutes i may or may not be in what i call a bad "mood". i have had a few of them today, but didn't choose to tell many people about them. maybe they knew, maybe from my eyes, sleepily half-closed, or i might have rolled them. no, i didn't. on the other side of the emotional spectrum (i traverse it daily, where are you for this?) many of my moods today were good ones. as i sit writing, next to a half wall of open windows, it rains, hard, and i run downstairs to stick the plants into it, avocado trees (babies), cactus, mint surviving despite a plight to kill it. did i wake up the others, did they half sleeping hear the rain and fall right back asleep lulled and warm?
i don't want to believe it, but i think that in spite of our genders, we are each sensitive and oblivious. i'm working on it. i miss a lot of people, and spend long stretches alone, forgetting all about them. except, that is, in the constant lull in positivity, wavering for a few minutes at irregular intervals. you know, though, something is happening now, and although i unfortunately try to explain just what it is, and daily, i don't quite understand it. at all. is it important? i think.
